


Friends

by Snogspayne



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 05:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12976551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snogspayne/pseuds/Snogspayne
Summary: The one where Zayn and Liam are fwb in high school and Zayn finally finds strengh but Liam wants to rebuild. Th lyrics are from Friends by Ed Sheeran!





	Friends

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago like right before Zayn left the band so I haven't worked on it since then. I have more written than this though so consider this a interest check! Please tell me what you think! Good or bad!

_ We're not, no we're not friends, nor have we ever been  _

 

     Zayn hated everything in High School from the physical school to the people. He hated that everyone was so unsure of themselves and that he had to constantly be on the tail end of most jokes because he wasn't. Jokes about his nerdiness towards things that everyone knew about because his name was all over bulletin boards for his high marks and he liked comic books which is something he found common. Jokes because he didn't hide that he was gay, which was something that way too many people cared about. He had mentioned it once ever in a class and next thing he knew everyone knew. People poked fun at his thinness and about how he wasn't as tall or interested in sports as most of the other guys. The worst were the jokes about race and religion but he could somehow get over it all. 

      What he couldn't get over was how much he hated Liam Payne. He hated that Liam always laughed. He hated that even when he caught Liam alone he wouldn't say 'hi' or even acknowledge Zayns existence. 

 

_ We just try to keep those secrets in a lie, _

_  
_ _ And if they find out, will it all go wrong? _

 

     He hated that Liam would only talk to him at school if he wanted to 'hang out' later on. He hated that when they'd be together later on Liam would kiss him like he was some delicate flower. He hated that Liam would touch his hips so softly and ask for permission for every little move he made. He hated the way he'd brush Zayns hair out his face gently when he blew him. He hated that Liam knew every single part of his body so well. He hated when Liam would be so affectionate afterward. He hated the way Liam would kiss his forehead lazily and cuddle him. He hated that Liam would tell him that he thought his superhero movie posters on his walls were cool and that his art was sick. He hated how much Liam acted like he actually cared about him.

     He hated how when they laid there Liam would mumble out lame excuses like 'you know how the guys are' and he hated that, that would be enough that he wouldn't ask more. He hated that sometimes if the sex was even better than usual Liam would talk about how he loved Zayn and would tell everyone if he would be able to be publically happy with him. He hated that he would believe everything Liam said to him. 

     He hated how shitty he'd feel afterward when Liam finally left, sneaking and making no sounds at 2 am to not wake Zayns family and giving him one last long kiss before he departed. Zayn would go back to his room and sit, head in hands as he realized he did it again. Every time he'd promised himself that that was last time which was a promise he broke every couple of days and the cycle would continue.

     It went on for years which made Zayn hate Liam and himself even more. Nothing seemed to change between them. Liam ignored him, talked to him when he needed sex and Zayn would mindlessly say yes and hate himself the whole day until it would all happen. Liam sneaking in and touching him better than he imagined anyone could and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Zayn didn't want to say that sex with Liam caused a feeling of momentary euphoria but it did. Along with many hours and even days of feeling like a idiot. 

     Zayn prided himself on the fact that he could deny Liam sex for weeks and have Liam practically begging him for more. Those were his highest moments. When he could see Liam coming to him,  _ needing _ him when a big project or a game came up or anything else stress inducing and have a clear enough head to say no. Liam couldn't hide his surprise when he said that for the first time.  

     "Why?" Liam tried to sound calm as he inquired the first time Zayn had denied him, not even in those moments he could contain himself to the point that he wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder to see if any of his friends were coming. 

     Zayn would shrug. "I'm tired of being treated like your nasty little secret. I don't want to be fucking somebody who'll say they love me when we're alone but won't even give me a single glance when we're at school. I'm better than that, Liam." 

     Liam sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "Zayn, you  _ know _ how it is for me. You just don't understand I can't..." he trailed off. “You know what I’m trying to say, right?” 

     "Are you trying to say you can’t be known as some horrible gay? Yeah, I do understand how that feels."

     The concerned puppy dog like face Liam did made Zayn have to stare at his shoes. "No babe that's not what I mean," Liam reached out, cupping Zayns face in his hands. "I know you go through a lot of shit and I'm so sorry about that but-"

     Zayn moved from Liam's grasp. "No you're not, but thanks for the fake ass concern." Zayn then walked off just like that and felt  _ powerful _ . 

 

_ And Heaven knows, no one wants it to _

 

     It was only at the beginning of February, senior year was nearly over and Zayn and Liam were back in full swing. Nothing had changed. Liam hadn't changed. Or at least Zayn didn't think he did. Until he came over for the first time ever. Knocked right on the Malik's front door an hour after school was dismissed which was something he never did. Liam came through back doors and windows in the wee hours of the night. Liam had never talked about the fact that he avoided Zayns family like a fly avoids an obviously opened window so it was strange when he knocked and smiled cheek to cheek when Zayns mom answered. 

     "G'afternoon Mrs. Malik I'm Zayns friend Liam," he even hugged her. "Is he here?" 

     Mrs. Malik had just nodded and stepped aside for he could come in, a bit taken aback by the unasked for hug. "Zayn!" She called.

     "I'm coming!" Zayn yelled from his room. He pulled himself from a sketch and trudged down the stairs. 

     "Hey, Zayn!" Liam was enthusiastic when he saw him who just stared back at him, mouth slightly agape, feeling just as shocked as he looked. 

     "Mum we're going to uh...head up to my room. That's okay, yeah?" Zayn asked without even saying a ‘hi’ to Liam, throwing all his manners out the door. He just went and grabbed Liam by the wrist and headed up the stairs. 

     "Take a snack if you're going to be there for a while." 

     Zayn and Liam were already halfway upstairs when she said that but Zayn hollered back something that was no more than noise. 

     Zayn kind of wanted to punch Liam in the face when they reached his room and Liam was just smiling like an idiot touching Zayns comic books and drawing paper which annoyed Zayn because the last person to touch his stuff without asking was his little sisters and they hadn't even done that in years. 

     "Why are you here?" Zayn just came out and said it, skipping the bullshit small talk that he could feel coming on. 

     Liam pouted down at the pencils he was touching on Zayns desk then turned to him frowning and shrugging. "I just came by to see you, is all." Liam cocked his head to one side “Is that a problem?” 

     Zayn couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “We’ve been fucking around since freshmen year and you’ve never just come to see me.” Zayn mirrored Liams cocked head and grinned to himself. “So yeah it is a problem. What do you want?” 

     Liam smirked. “What? Can I not just want to talk to you?” He laughed. “We are mates, Zayn.” 

     “If we’re mates you have a funny way of showing it,” Zayn grinned as he watches the smile slip from Liams face. “Stop bullshitting me, ok? What do you want?” 

     Liams eyes traveled to his shoes before he turned back to Zayns desks, he let out a sigh as he fingered more of Zayns belongings. “I wanted to talk about us,” he mumbled. 

     Zayn thanked god that Liam was turned around so he couldn’t see the first genuine smile that crossed Zayns face since Liam had arrived. “Go on then,” Zayn said, happy he still sounded as demanding as he wanted. 

     Liam set down the snow globe that was a souvenir from Canada Zayns uncle had given him and sighed once more. "I'm such a fucking asshole towards you, Zayn." 

     Zayn bit back the urge to vocally agree. He just nodded as he took a seat on his bed. "Sit," was the only non rude thought he had. 

     Liam nodded, looking at his sneakers as he sat at Zayns desk. "I don't deserve you in the slightest of ways. You're smart, funny talented and a shitload of other things that I'm not. You don't deserve to be treated the way I treat you, Zayn." Liam looked up at Zayn with pleading eyes. "You're too good to be treated like a dirty little secret or something I just...” he trailed off, head still hung. “Do you remember how we met?” Liam asked, face snapping up and looking Zayn right in the eye. 

     Zayn tried not to giggle at the ridiculously dramatic romantic movie sounding question and soap opera esque dialogue which sounded even more ludicrous coming from Liams mouth, all in a tight line, his face totally different in his seriousness. “I guess” is all Zayn replied. 

     “Well, it was a Wednesday in December, sophomore year after school. In Mr. Burns room for the comic book club meeting. I remember the signs were everywhere for the club and they made announcements about it every day during homeroom for nearly a month,” He let out a small laugh. “I came 15 minutes late because I had to lie my way out of football practice, I got there out of breath because I ran and when I opened the door and the only person in the room was you and Mr. Burns,” he let out a full laugh then. “Mr. Burns was ranting to you about all the work he put into this club and only one person had the nerve to show up when I came in. Then he started going off on me about how I was trying to make a joke out of all his hard work, then he left to go talk to the principle of some other shit that wouldn’t help anything and I sat down. Right next to you, Zayn. Do you remember?” 

     Zayn swallowed thickly and nodded. He hating hearing Liam retell the story that he’s thought about nearly every day since it happened. How he imagined all the different ways it could’ve gone differently and maybe Liam would want to be publically with him. He dreamt about how he could have not even talked to Liam and he would have been in this mess in the first place. 

     "And we talked and laughed for over a hour and I've never had so much  _ fun  _ just talking to someone. You're the only actually interesting person I've met in school. You don't just talk shit and follow trends you're  _ you.  _ You're a completely different person from all those other kids... my friends technically. You didn't care about the fact that I'm Liam: overly gassed up, captain of the football team, cheerleader dating, Mr popular. You made me not care that I was that. You made me be...me." 

     Zayn wanted to laugh and cry. He would laugh at the extraness of this whole conversation and cry at the fact that his thoughts were basically the same during the time. Zayn had just moved there from Bradford and he thought that the club would be a good way to make friends. When Liam walked in and they talked he thought he had a friend. A hot but perfectly average ranked on the social chain friend that had a slight obsession with Batman. He thought wrong and it felt shitty when Liam would only talk to him during the meetings that only lasted a month because no one else joined. 

     "Remember after they shut the club down and I asked to hang out with you?" Liam asked, cocking a brow. 

     Zayn nodded. "You had avoided me for a week after the club then you asked. I was feeling like shit-"

     "Because everyone was being a dick to you because Jason Adams-the asshole- outed you. I know." 

     They sat in silence for a moment. Heads bowed, eyes staring at Nike sneakers and purple socks respectively. 

     "And we actually hung out. Just talking and watching movies and shit. It was fun. Every time I'm with you I have fun. No matter what," he chuckled, looking up at Zayn. "You're just so cool." 

     Zayn couldn't help but to crack a smile while looking at Liams grin. "I have fun with you too." 

     Liam smiled wider, his eyes disappeared and cheeks dimpled. Then his face went blank and he looked down again. "I  _ really _ fucking like you, Zayn," he sounded almost pained. "I  _ love _ you." 

     Zayn parted his lips, prepared to speak then he pressed his lips back together because if he was to say it back it makes this all too  _ real.  _ Over the years Liam's has said 'I love you' more often than you'd expect. He's said it when he would sneak in before they even touched, when Zayn agreed to hang out, after sex when they'd talk, when he left. All the time. Zayn has never said it. Not even once but he'd thought it a million times.  __

     "I knew I felt  _ something  _ when we had first met. Every time I was with you I liked you more and more." He paused, head still down. "Remember last year when I asked you to hang out and you said no?" 

     Zayn just nodded although Liam didn't look up. 

     "I was kind of pissed because honestly I wasn't used to that at all. But when I went home and decided to stop acting like an entitled pissbaby I started to realize you were smart to do that. It made me like you even more." He paused. "And I lied to you," he sounded as if someone had punched him in the stomach. "Why'd you take me back? You were right when you said you didn't deserve that and you were right by saying I didn't understand what you go though. God, I was such a dick for even saying I understood." He balled his fist up and screwed his eyes shut. "I'm such an asshole." 

     Zayn sat there on his bed for a second, so close to Liam in his tiny room, not knowing what to say so he kneeled down in front of him. "Hey," he breathed, taking Liam's face in his hands. Liam stared at him, chocolatey eyes watering, brows still furrowed. "I like you a lot too. I took you back and I knew that it was a lie when you'd say we'd walk into school hand and hand, heads held high, but I...fucking love you and I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me..." Zayn trailed off, searching for some more correct words to say. “I uh...,” he trailed off once more before leaning a short distance forward to meet his lips with Liams. 

     Plump lips on each other it felt like ecstasy. It was slow, passionate and burning. It killed the both of them. It hurt. They loved each other. Liam didn't just love Zayn. It was real now. Love was out in the open and it felt like a flame. They were on fire. They were happy and confused. This is what they wanted, right? To love each other but they already did that. They have all along. Love out in plain site felt strange. Like a raincloud on a sunny day. It was foreign.  

     When they pulled away they looked at each other. Foreheads pressed and Zayn couldn't help but laugh. 

     "You look like a goddamn alien. Why in the world do people do that?" He laughed out. 

     Liam laughed too "Stop romanticizing making people you love look like aliens." 

     Zayn laughed at that and Liam laughed harder. It felt so nice being able to laugh so they did even though the joke only deserved a small chuckle. They laughed because they were happy. They laughed because they were relieved. They laughed because they  _ loved  _ each other. And when they were done laughing they stared at each other. 

     "I want us to give it a go. Like we should date. I'll take you out proper." Liam said a grin on his lips.

     Zayn nodded, looking down at the floor for a second before looking back up at Liam's face. "No." 


End file.
